Apologetics 101; Asking Good Questions

As the first post in my Apologetics 101 series, I want to take a moment to define apologetics. Apologetics comes from the Greek word apologia, which means to make a defense. I will be focusing on Christian apologetics, which is the defense of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Apologetics is based on 1 Peter 3:15, which calls all believers to be ready to make a gentle and respectful defense to anyone who asks why the believer has hope (that is, the hope of Jesus). This is what apologetics is. It is the art of giving a defense for the Christian faith while remaining gentle, respectful, and loving. Apologetics should always be used with a loving heart behind it. Believers are called to do everything out of love (1 Corinthians 16:14), including sharing the gospel. The point of apologetics is not to push evidence, facts, logic, and philosophy at someone; but rather to gently engage with them and be able to have confidence and reasoning for the beliefs we hold in Jesus. 

One of the greatest tools in an apologists’ toolbox is the power of questions. Questions are great to guide conversation towards the gospel and its implications or allows for defending the believer when under attack by those who are hostile towards Christians. For simplicity's sake, I will cover three different kinds of questions, what they are, what their purpose is, when it is appropriate to use them, and how to use them. 

Clarifying Questions

Clarifying questions are questions like “What do you mean by ______?” “Could you explain that further?” “What makes you think that?” and similar such questions. The purpose of clarifying questions is to get a better understanding of what someone means. For example, someone tells you that they are an atheist. At first glance, one could conclude that as an atheist they must be closed off entirely to the idea of there being a God. But, after asking them what they mean by that, you learn that they do not know if there is a God or not, that they are confused, and that they struggle with reconciling the thought of a good God in a world full of pain and hurt. The new information allows for better conversation. In this case, the person needs to hear how God could still be good and loving. The person does not need a philosophical breakdown of how there must be a God. 

It is always good to ask for more information and to not assume that you immediately know what the person is saying. Someone might say that they are a Christian. “What do you mean by that?” “Oh, my mom is religious, so I go to church with her.” “Is that all what being a Christian means to you?” “Yup, pretty much.” In this case, it was good to ask clarifying questions. While gathering information is always a good thing to do, there is a certain point that you do not want to be like a three-year-old asking “why” after every answer until you get to the beginning of the universe and still asking “why?” 

Be genuine. Show interest. The point of asking questions is to learn more about someone, not to win an argument. So, try to learn about them. Be interested in them as a person. Keep in mind that you are talking to an eternal being who will spend all of eternity in either heaven or hell, and they deserve respect as someone made in God’s image. Let all of your conversation flow out of a loving and caring heart. 

Sequential Questions

Sequential questions are multiple questions in a sequence that lead to an intended end conclusion. An example would be as follows. 

Angie and Max are having a conversation. Angie believes in God and heaven but believes that if you are a good person you will go to heaven. Max is Angie’s only Christian friend. 

“I’m a good person. I’ll go to heaven,” Angie says one day. 

Max is disturbed by this, because he believes that the only way to heaven is through Jesus. Max knows that there is no way that we on our own can ever be good enough to go to heaven. Because Max cares for Angie, he wants to help her see what he believes. Max comes up with a series of questions to try to help Angie see what he sees. 

“Angie, what does it mean to be a good person?” 

“Well,” Angie responds, “it means that you don’t do bad stuff.” 

“Is sin bad stuff?” Max asks. 

“Of course, sin is bad stuff! 

“Then, what is sin?” 

“Sin is disobeying God’s commands. Like do not murder, or steal. I’ve never murdered or stolen anything.” Angie elaborates. 

“The Bible makes it clear that lying is a sin. Have you ever told a lie? I know I sure have.” Max is not accusatory towards Angie and shows a little vulnerability with her by letting her know that he too has lied. 

“Well, yes, I’ve lied. But who hasn’t?” 

“That’s the point, Angie. Everyone has done bad stuff, and we’re all bad people. We all don’t deserve to go to heaven. That’s why Jesus came.” 

See how that went? Max thought it through. First, he got her to think about what a good person is. Then, what it is that stops you from being a good person. Then he showed her that she was not a good person. Max was then quick to share his thoughts with confidence, but out of love. He did not single her out, but rather used terms like “everyone” and “we.” Sequential questions are to be used when you are trying to show someone a point. It allows them to follow your train of thought, think for themselves, and come to the desired conclusion themselves. It allows the other person to see that you have a good point, with real reasoning behind it. It is important when using sequential questions to not force your views on someone. The point is to gently show them why you think what you do, by encouraging them to think how you do. 

Defensive Questions

Defensive questions are used to ask someone to defend their point. If someone makes a claim, then they have to support that claim. Here is a common example. If someone claims that “the Bible says to not judge,” then you can ask them “where does it say that?” Someone might say “the Bible is just a copy of a cope of a cope, and you can’t trust it. It was corrupted over time.” You have every right to ask them, “where did you hear that from?” or “how do you know that?” or any type of question to ask them for the proof behind their claim. 

These questions can easily become frustrating for another person, so they have to be asked with as much grace and love as possible. The point is not to irritate, but to gently and respectfully point out that there needs to be reasoning behind an accusation or claim. I had a friend who was called a “sexist white supremacist” because he was a Christian. He told them that he believed what the Bible taught, and they told him it was in his Bible. He asked them where, and they said that they did not know. My friend then proceeded to lovingly tell them that the Bible, and Jesus, actually uplifts women in that time and equalizes them in a highly countercultural way. He also explained that Jesus was not white and that the Bible does not encourage white supremacy. 

Defensive questions are a great tool to have, as long as you can remember that they must be given in gentle love. The goal is not to tear the other person down. The goal is to have a meaningful conversation and spread the light and love of Jesus. 

Conclusion

Questions are very useful and can help us learn more about other people and how they think. Questions can have a powerful and profound impact on people, and some questions can stick with us for a long time until we find an answer. With clarifying questions, we can learn more about what other people mean when they say something, even if we think we already know the meaning. Sequential questions can show others that there is a logical progression that leads to a certain conclusion, and defensive questions can help defend against unsupported attacks against the person or the faith. It is important to remember that with asking questions, the point is to understand the other person better and see where they are coming from. Asking questions is good. It shows curiosity and interest in another person. Questions can inform, guide, defend, and more. Just remember the key point: “Let all that you do be done in love” (1 Corinthians 16:14).